Hero? I've Long Stopped Being One - Volume 2 Chapter 4

Meanwhile, Lin Jie was waiting at the H City private airport.

He had received a message from Xiao, saying that they would be arriving there on a private jet, and asking Lin Jie to come pick them up. Originally, Lin Jie hadn't wanted to go, but when he thought of Thirteen and the others, he couldn't resist coming to see what would happen.

"Their plane is already more than an hour late. I guess they probably crashed on liftoff." Lin speculated. "I guess I'm not getting a good show after all."

Just then, he suddenly caught sight of a plane.

"It's finally here." Lin Jie watched the plane coming in.

But he felt there was something wrong. "Are the exhaust fumes behind the plane black? That isn't very environmentally friendly. And if Thirteen is in there, why isn't the plane falling?"

Then, as Lin Jie watched, the plane made a ninety degree turn in the air and dived, nose down, toward the landing strip.

Fortunately, a parachute opened from the back end of the plane, and the airport staff also initiated emergency procedures. An anti-gravity field was activated on the runway, levitating the plane in midair.

Soon after, the airport fire brigade was dispatched.

Lin Jie could now see that the black plume he'd seen behind the plane was not exhaust, but smoke from the plane catching fire. Thick black smoke now permeated the entire area.

"I guess it is Thirteen after all. His luck's as bad as ever." Lin Jie couldn't help giving the burning plane a thumbs up. "I didn't waste my time after all. It was a really good show."

Done talking to himself, Lin Jie walked over the the plane.

The fire on the plane was finally put out. A figure jumped out and said, "Well, hahaha! Let me just say, having an anti-grav field makes things so much more fun. This is my favorite part about flying."

When Lin Jie saw the speaker's appearance, his whole body became frozen in place.

Both sides of the person's head were shaved, leaving a golden mohawk in the middle. He wore a black leather vest, a metal cuff on his wrist, and shoulder pads.

"Where did this bizarre gang member come from?" Lin Jie cried out in his mind.

"Yeah! Brother, you waited for us!" The man came over to Lin. "Long time no see! Let's go get a couple motorcycles! I can't wait to ride in H City."

"Who are you?" Lin Jie looked blankly at him. "I don't know any gang members."

"What are you talking about? I'm Thirteen! Do you forget all your friends this fast? I'm hurt!" The gang member shouted at Lin Jie.

"Did you just say that you're Thirteen?" Lin Jie was completely shocked. "Was it that intensive training? Have you gone through a life-changing trauma?"

You must remember that the last time he saw Thirteen, the other party was still mature and steady, a good young man with a gentle smile. How did he go from that to this in only half a month?

"What? No, I've just awakened to my true self." Thirteen said: "Don't worry yourself over it. Let's go get a motorcycle, brother!"

"..."

"Lin Jie, good buddy, I haven't seen you in ages." Xiao Zhan's voice suddenly sounded in Lin Jie's ear, startling him.

"Xiao Zhan! What's wrong with Thirteen?" Lin Jie asked, before looking back at Xiao Zhan. "Wait, what's with this style?"

Xiao Zhan was similar to Thirteen, but the biggest change was in his body. If Thirteen looked like a turn of the century gang member, the Xiao Zhan in front of Lin Jie now looked like a turn of the century comic book protagonist.

"We haven't changed." Xiao Zhan protested.

"You haven't changed, your sister!" Lin Jie looked at Xiao Zhan and said: "I can't believe you let that come out of your mouth! You changed everything about you! Where did all these muscles come from? And what are these seven scars on your chest?"

"The training just made me a bit stronger. I have become the heir to the new generation of Beidou X." Xiao Zhan said. "I've already perfected it."

"Your sister! I'm going to start calling you Xiao Shiro from now on!" Lin Jie said, irritated.

"Really, it's me. I'm already improving this boxing move set!" Xiao Zhan pulled out a nice new censored stick: "I'll show you my new skills soon, with my pixelated Beidou stick."

"You've completely ruined the style! I've never seen X Silang hold a pixelated stick! Give me back my friend!" Lin Jie looked at his friend who'd turned into a comic book character holding a censored vibrator in his hand: "Who will bring him back for me? Step Dance? Come out and fix this! Your boss has lost his mind!"

"Are you calling me?" Step Dance came out in her maid costume.

"You look pretty normal." Lin Jie said: "What happened to your boss?"

"I don't know!" said Step Dance.

"They all became like this, and you still don't know how it happened?" Lin Jie stared at the beauty in front of him.

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" she said, banging her head on the floor, with a terrified look. "I'm sorry! I am useless! I couldn't help at all! Sorry! Sorry!"

"Hey! I didn't think I said anything that harsh!" Lin Jie looked at her; she looked like she was crying. "I was just asking."

"Sorry! Sorry! So useless, I can't even answer simple questions normally!" Lin Jie had apparently just made her more frantic. "This woman who is less than a lizard needs your forgiveness. I'm such a useless waste, I must make you feel sick."

"Hey! What happened to you?"

"Punish me, or I won't stop. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Step Dance kept apologizing.

"Why would I punish you! You're Xiao Zhan's maid." Lin Jie said quickly.

"Oh, right, right, I guess I'm not even worth taking time to punish?" Step Dance showed a strange smile and pulled out a light dagger: "Useless garbage should be thrown out early before it becomes worse."

Grabbing the dagger, she stabbed toward her chest.

"What are you doing?" Lin Jie grabbed the dagger from her hand: "Your sister is garbage! Can't any of you be normal?"

"That's right!" Platinum's voice interrupted: "How will you protect the safety of H City with them like this?"

"Mr. Platinum! Finally the sound of normal conversation!" Lin Jie looked at the voice with joy, only to be shocked again.

Platinum was now decked out in golden armor.

"What happened to you over there?" Lin Jie yelled at him: "What kind of training was this?"

"I have become a golden holy warrior through cultivation!" Platinum declared. "My dantians are burning fiercely! I will protect my goddess."

"You guys are making me cry! When did you learn such a ferocious thing!" Lin Jie looked at Platinum and said: "Aren't you saying you didn't have a foundation? How can you be like this after half a month?"

At this moment, two people in bronze armor were carried off the plane.

"What's this now?" Lin asked.

"Hey! These two scum wanted to challenge this golden holy warrior, so I beat the crap out of them on the plane!" Platinum pounded his chest.

"Are they okay?"

"No one can steal my right to protect the goddess!" Platinum said.

"Your sister! I thought you were gay!"

"That was in the past! Now I am different. Now, I swing both ways!" Platinum made a Tianma meteor fist pose.

"I'm sending all of you nutcases to a mental hospital for a while." Lin said.

At that time, a punch landed on Lin Jie's shoulder.

"What is it this time?" Lin Jie prepared himself, but he still couldn't calm down when he saw the scene before him.

A dark face was looking at him. It was Black Gold; his eyes were filled with tears.

"Don't look at me with tears in your eyes. It's disgusting!"

Hearing this, Black Gold dropped to the ground and starting bawling.

"Seriously, what's wrong with you?" Lin Jie was quite disturbed.

"Lin Jie! I wanna play basketballlll!" Black Gold sobbed.

"..." Lin Jie was lost for words: "You think it's a good life now! But really, it's no good unless you have a body like a tree!"

"Actually, I hate fighting. I just want to play basketball."

"Your career is all about violence, you know?" Lin Jie said.

Right then, Dong Xue'er came down from the shuttle.

"Okay, brother, let's go! We're all here." Thirteen said.

"What about Dong Xiaoye?"

"She went back to B City to rest," said Thirteen.

"And Glasses Bro? Did he go with Dong Xiaoye?" Lin Jie asked curiously.

"Oh, right, I guess I forgot." Thirteen pulled out a pair of cracked glasses. "When we ran to help him, this was all that we found."

When he saw the broken glasses, Lin Jie had tears in his eyes.

"Glasses! Glasses Bro! What happened to you!" Lin Jie's cry rang throughout the whole airport.

---
This chapter cracks me up. Lin Jie got more of a show than he expected!

and...what happened to Glasses Bro? wu wu ToT

I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I had fun getting it ready for you guys. :) Let me know if you spot any issues...I'm not super confident about a few words here and there.

- miriga <3



Comments

  1. Damn that was seriously amazing hilarious.... lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. He awakened to his ultimate form. Glasses Bro has evolbed to Glasses

    ReplyDelete
  3. What in the Holy mother of the world happened to them LMAO
    Thanks for the chap ~

    ReplyDelete

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